Somewhere Far Beyond

Of Minitors and Mindflayers
The quest for magic clothes

New day, new kill count. So many strange new creatures to dismember. The bug man turned into something so hideous I can barely look at him. At least the dwarf got "magic clothes." I would have wished for more wishes. We are killing things so easily, I wonder what the future holds.

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Trizz-ain
Who needs boxcars when you have a train!

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Quotable

Bug man referring to a book: "It's like a sandwich with words."

"We've gone off the rails now."

"You're not bug 21 yet."

"For a bugman, he has a lot of modisty."

"Costco…he's a great wizard."

"I like to think I blew it well enough."

"Just ran the trizz-ain on David's space pirates."

"Fuck no, you don't know how to use the space harpoon!"

 

 

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Meiresthi's Log
We have gone off the rails...

I find myself in the company of strange folk. Today we guarded a caravan. On our way back to Blue Home we were attacked. The goblins were small and smelled worse than the large dragonborn.


Today we journeyed to an underground keep. There were beasts like in legends of old, skeletons that were alive, and magical swords. Ozzumel sacrificed a dog to some ancient evil. Not sure that was a wise choice.


We found a magical orb that took us to a land of bug people. The desert was hot and I think that added to our insanity. The wizard keeps drinking unknown potions. At least this time it assisted us in persuading the bug people to make us Gods. I am not sure what the brother's at the monastery would think about this one.


Time in this bug world goes by quickly when we transport to our own world. We leave for five minutes and the bug people have been sacked. At least the invaders did not burn down our "temple/palace."


Ozzumel convinced the leader of the raiders to come with us to our world. We left him to find Slate (the leader of Blue Home) and went back to collect his raider brothers. They were not convinced to follow in the Chief's footsteps. 


I have been able, with Ozzumel's help, to slowly learn the bug people language. 

Today we managed to take down a cyclops. The Gorrah laid down their arms and followed us back to our world. I was expecting Blue Home to put up more of a fight…


So we took Blue Home. We left the Gorrah to plunder while we went for a drink to celebrate. We found a really drunk dwarf and an elf in the tavern. Potion time. The dwarf made a really cute butterfly. After we set the tavern on fire we had a nice picnic in the glow of the carnage. The Gorrah are a really happy people when it comes to pillaging.

With Blue Home sacked, we turned our eyes toward Aldfgard. The trip was turning out to be uneventful until a very funny looking Ogre thing appeared. We killed it, but not before it possessed one of the Gorrah. I will miss Stumpy…but he had to be put down. The bag of baby body parts that we found on the Ogre was almost as disturbing as Ozzumel's genital collection.

At Aldgard we decided to leave the bugman and Gorrah outside. We rested at the Blue Brush Tea Room. A really rotten establishment but the mostly nakid dwarf (Galin) fit right in. The next day we attempted to "purchase" the entire stock from the Ink and Quill (a dark shop ran by Zafellious, an old coot). Zafellious thought we were trying to kill him so he called for the town card. Hubert (the captain) and 8 guards arrived. They let us off with a fine. Lol.

We went to the governer's office and orbed out with one of the guards. He didn't stand a chance. When we orbed back we found a knarly group of pirates with a magic boat. Of course we wanted the magic boat…they wanted the orb. Galin managed to get on the boat as they were engaged in combat with us. The captain wasn't expecting to be skewered with his own space harpoon! I finished off the captain by kicking his head clean off. Valanth the Drow Elf charmed one of the pirates and after we took care of his pals she convinced him to show us how the boat works. It took us to the astral plain. We were all watching how to fly this thing…

Ozzumel took the helm and thought about bugtown. And just like that we appeared in bugtown. Our loyal followers had piled their meager riches into our "palace." We ordered the bugmen to take all the "treasures" to the boat while we rested. Fighting pirates is hard work.

 


Party Kill Count

  • 6 Goblins
  • 4 Dinosaurs
  • 7 Skeletons
  • 10 Magical Weapons
  • 1 Magical Suit of Armor
  • 8 Insect People (disgruntled bug people and non believers)
  • 2 dogs
  • Captain Woodward
  • 4 Gorah
  • Cyclops
  • 8 Blue Home guards
  • 2 Blue Home peasants
  • Governer Tallyhook of Blue Home
  • 1 possessed Gorah
  • One Magical Ogre looking thing
  • One Aldfgard guard
  • 5 Gith lackeys and 1 Gith pirate captain
  • 7 ugly humioids
  • 2 Minitors
  • Any dignity the dwarf had left
  • Mindflayer and 3 minions

 

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